For me, 2019 is the year of being honest with myself. Last year I told myself a lot of lies. I made a lot of empty promises cloaked in reassured whispers of growth and accomplishment. I thought if I stretched my goals just out of reach, then they would push me to chase them, and I would get more done as a result.
It’s safe to say that didn’t happen. Although I saw, and did so much more than I expected to in 2018, I didn’t maximize my time. Yet, I don’t regret that. Sometimes it’s important for us to be easy on ourselves, even if that means half-assing an entire year, before we’re able to realize a better direction for ourselves.
Yay! She’s Writing Again
I have finally come around to the point where I’m excited to write again, sharing thoughts in ways that aren’t necessarily creatively crafted poetry and prose. I want to explore my ideas through words and reality. This space I’m able to occupy, exists because I gave myself room toward the end of the year, to live and become fully absorbed by everyday. life Writing was hard, almost impossible at times, so I didn’t force myself to do it.
There are so many creators out there who argue otherwise. They’d say your craft isn’t always easy, and that determination and discipline are the keys to growth as an artist. While this may be true, I also know that patience and rest is key to growing as a person. Sometimes you can’t do something you used to, because you’ve outgrown your old methods. Maybe you’re seeking new way to channel creative energy you didn’t realize you’d lost. The time away, I can safely say, has allowed me to refocus my priorities, to realize my opportunities for growth, and to plan for continual progress.
What’s to Come in 2019
2019 I am accepting that my personality is messy. I am embracing my emotions. I am not going to be embarrassed of my fascination with astrology (or other unrelated “taboos”). I am going express myself, and I am not going to be tamed. I will flow through this temporal space in a nebula of glitter, with an aura that glows.
There is no time to be apologetic when you are being honest with yourself and with the world. This will be my year.