It’s been a while since I’ve taken a moment to write about life. Since February, my time has been filled with ups and downs, like merry-go-rounds. My thoughts clouded by inescapable distractions.
University is impossibly frantic in the spring. My schedule, normally a rip current of responsibility on its own, has been completely transformed by the ripples that flow from my quickly approaching graduation date. Is there ever a right time to take a break from it all? I’m nearing the point where I’m ready to admit defeat to anyone who’s willing to listen.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a cry for help so much as it's a declaration of disbelief. I'm not ready to face tomorrow! It’s like the future is seeping into the present, and demanding attention I’m not sure I have to give. Still, now is the time to think ahead: to apply for jobs, to follow through with my commitments, and to figure out what I really want from life (for now).
It’s safe to say that together, all of these elements are a bit much to manage.
The Quarter Life Crisis
If I had one sentence to summarize my life at the moment, it would be this: “Who are you, and what do you want?!” I guess that's more of a question, but try as I might, I can't find the answers. This is a sick way of saying it, but at this point, stress feels like a sort of self-inflicted torture. I know I’m not the only person who feels this overwhelmed, but part of me believes that if I really wanted to, I could just stop. Full stop, and run away. Obviously, this is impractical in more ways than one, but it’s an attractive fantasy that haunts me in the sweetest way.
As for life-related crises, in today’s society they happen more often than they should, and to more people than one would think. Especially in college, where you’re surrounded by so many people who may (or may not) seem to have all figured out, it’s easy to reconsider your own success. Questions like, “What have I done with my life?” or “Am I sure this is what I want to do?” start to populate your mind, with no crevice left untouched.
What do you do when these thoughts begin to make themselves at home in your mind? I’m still trying to figure it out.
Taking a Break from Blogging
Lately I have been on what I'll call a forced break from blogging. I hope it hasn’t been too obvious. School is consuming just about every part of me, so I don't have much time to spend writing. (Sad face.) Still, everyday I have new ideas that I throw on sticky notes and file away for less chaotic days.
I'm almost craving a good blog sesh, which is driving me nuts, because this is what keeps me going. I love to read, I love to pour myself into the words I write, and I get excited about learning the ins-and-outs of creative design. If I could do this everyday, I’m convinced life would be as sweet as a slice of apple pie. (Kidding, I know it would still be wild.)
So yes, I have big plans for the future of this blog. I just need to make the time.
P.s. How do you like the homepage + sidebar redesign?
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
A few months ago, I published a post about my plan to study abroad. I’m excited to say that I was nominated for the program!! Because I got the exchange spot, I can actually afford to go. Guys, visualization works! Visualization, heart-filled hope, and a whole lot of prep work is the key to making your dreams real.
Fun fact: As the glitter settles, I’m realizing that leaving the country requires loads of paperwork. I’m drowning in digital signatures, approval forms, and travel documents to make this trip legal. Better yet, I learned that I have to go to the consulate, which is smack dab in the heart of NYC. (Not fun.) No worries, I will keep you posted on the progress of my journey overseas.
Life After College
What a long update. If you’re still reading, hey hey!
I'll wrap this up with a few words about the future. It is impossible to predict what comes next. Even with the most logical assumptions, life has a way of slipping surprises through the cracks.
Since my semester abroad will be my last semester in college, I am also in the process of applying to jobs. Can I just say, that for all the work it takes to prepare for interviews and the time that must be set aside to schedule phone screens as well as in person interviews, the ratios for successfully securing a job don’t add up. I feel for all college graduates out there, including myself.
I'm keeping an open mind, which isn't hard since I'm at ends as to what I even want to do. From where I stand, a position that involves content marketing and digital strategy would be a dream, but who knows what the future holds?
Thank for reading! Do you like posts like this? Let me know below.