Explaining The Messy Life Movement: I am a MESSY Woman

Modern media is overflowing with digitally enhanced photos, footage crafted from edited clips, and summaries of success stories. None of these show what happens behind the scenes – the MESSY bits that run our world. Today’s society is missing something raw that’s key to the reality of our existence.I have known for a while now that I am not the type of person who thrives in an environment fueled by this state of mind. It can’t be healthy to constantly compare your rough draft to somebody else’s revised version.

I am a MESSY girl, I am not ashamed, and I am sure that however you identify, there is a bit of MESSY in you too because we all have imperfections. It’s about time we embrace them, and free ourselves to grow into the people we’re meant to be.

Redefining MESSY

By definition, the word messy has a pretty negative connotation.

  1. characterized by a dirty, untidy, or disordered condition  – Dictionary.com
  2. out of control – Urban Dictionary
  3. lacking neatness or precision – Merriam Webster

Add this to a few synonyms, kindly provided by Google, messy comes to represent anything that is confused, complex, and chaotic. The ultimate triple threat. But isn’t that a reflection of life itself? We weren’t made to exist in perfect order, perpetually scheduled and perfectly primped.

Over time, we have gotten ahead of ourselves. It’s almost as if we are being socially trained to be better younger, to do more faster, and to have our lives together before we get a chance to learn what life means to us.

All over social media, 20-somethings complain about the pressure to achieve success. This is extending to include younger generations, which feel the need to become something great before it’s “too late”

I think it’s high time we take a stand. It’s not normal to be anxious everyday because there’s another deadline to be made, and another, and another. People shouldn’t feel the need to benchmark themselves against the Musk’s and Zuckerberg’s of the world. This is not only unrealistic, but also damaging as we place limits that prevent our ability to truly soar.

I too have gotten caught in this trap. In fact, that’s the reason I started this blog. I needed to do something, anything, that felt right. I wanted to do more than join an organization for the sake of appearances, or pick another role to build my resume. I decided to create something entirely new and exclusively mine. The moment I decided to make this a reality, I knew I’d do whatever it took to start my own blog – where no one can dictate how I write or what I can and can’t do with my content. The Messy Life is here to stay whether or not my only follower is my mom.

What does MESSY really mean?

I don’t know about you, but I’m not too keen on labels. I hate being stuck in a box, which is why I’m constantly redefining things to make them work for me. That’s the joy of The Messy Life. There’s no reason to force yourself to fit any one definition of what MESSY means to you.

MESSY is who you are at your core. It embodies the very traits that change as you develop and grow. Through your ups-and-downs, you are your own human, so why adapt to an idea that confines you? The Messy Life is a movement to fight the new norm. To encourage freedom of expression, creativity, and being, above all.

the messy life | messy girl
Nitish Meena | Unsplash

I am MESSY girl. But what does that mean? Am I dirty or disorderly? Not quite.

This is what MESSY means to me:

My MESSY is inextricably connected to who I am. I am 19, I am approaching my last semester in college, and I am perpetually lost. It’s funny, because people seem to think that I know what I’m doing, who I am, or who I want to be. They couldn’t be further from the truth.

I am a constant overthinker. I am a collage of determination and evanescent sometimes. A few of my favorites being:


    • my mind scrambles, and I have to hurry to pick up the pieces before anyone realizes they’ve gone
    • I need to take a break and sit down for a while, no goal in mind but a moment to escape my thoughts
    • I trip over my words, blending one into another to form indecipherable combinations (Though I could argue that word formation is one of my top 10 skills)
    • I have a hard time tearing myself away from things that aren’t good for me, like bad friendships, junk food, sad books, and social media.
    • I miss meals
    • I forget to breathe
    • I lose track of friends
    • I have a hard time understanding how I feel

All of this is a part of who I am, but it doesn’t define me because every truth has two sides. My MESSY mind makes me more proactive about my mental and emotional health. It fuels my drive to achieve my goals, and helps me keep track of my responsibilities. Because of who I am, I’ve learned to present well, speak eloquently, and become a kickass writer.

But no one sees behind the scenes. No one knows what it takes for you to build yourself better. I’m not going to lie. I used to be pretty reserved about what I chose to share with others. But after some time, I’ve learned not to be embarrassed about what falls behind the curtain. Why should I be? And why should you?

I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my best to be true. And this is what I challenge you to do too.

Do you have what it takes to be MESSY?

I’ve shared a few of my MESSY truths. Of course there are more: good, bad, and ugly. But there’s not much that makes me ashamed. Why? Because I am human. I am real. I am not created to fit a standard. If anything, I try to define my own standard, which everyone should do. 

So, do you think have what it takes to be a MESSY guy, gal, etc.?

If you’re wondering whether you have what it takes to be a MESSY pal, chances are you already do. To be sure, ask yourself this:

    • Are you willing to look beyond the person you think you should be, and embrace who you truly are?
    • Can you make yourself vulnerable to change in order to chase and pursue your wildest dreams?
    • Do you want to learn and grow? Especially without minding the pressure or judgement people may cast on your life
  • Finally, do you feel ready to spread positivity through the universe, and accept for yourself no less than you deserve?

If so, then I challenge you to free your MESSY self. Embrace who you are, with all of your complexities and come to terms with what sets you apart.

Stop beating yourself up for making “dumb decisions”, or passing on opportunities that aren’t meant to be. You have the right to be picky. You have the right to prioritize your wellness and to be loud, or deliberate, about the way you choose to live your life. After all, life is a growing game and only you have the the power to manifest the change you wish to see. We are the masters our own existence. So let’s take words like messy and loud, and refashion them to fuel our goals. 

If you’re intrigued, join me on my journey as I learn to live well. I would love if you embarked on your own as well. Go ahead! Identify your motivations and chase your dreams to design a life you’re proud to call yours. Before you go, remember this: don’t be afraid to redefine what MESSY means to you. We each have our own motives and desires. It’s up to you to understand the role yours play in your life. Now, let’s get MESSY!

Marketing Student - Comfort-obsessed, plant-loving mess. Always trying. Continually coming to be.


  1. […] you can do this, your confidence will come a long way. It won’t matter as much what you put on your body, because knowing that you […]

  2. Klaudia
    March 19, 2018

    Haha! You’re so funny and relatable! I’m excited to be a part of your messy journey!!

    1. Ashleigh
      March 19, 2018

      Wow thank you. For. Every. Comment.

  3. Margaret Langan
    March 4, 2018

    I started my blog for very similar reasons and I feel so much more grounded doing something that is right for me. I’m impressed with your insight at such a young age – wish I’d been thinking about these things at 19!! I’ll be following along with your mom

    1. Ashleigh
      March 5, 2018

      Haha, thank you so much! I am glad you like it. I’m doing my best to find my voice that is a blend between being funny and also insightful.

      xx Ash


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