Over time, I have become the girl of my dreams.
I haven’t shared on this blog in over two weeks, a fact which has tormented me every single day. It almost feels as if I have been gone for over a month, since the voice in the back of my mind continually reminds me that I am not getting anything done.
This isn’t true, because in that time I have packed, moved, and finished my finals, but for some reason, knowing this doesn’t help. I honestly couldn’t tell you what's more frustrating than that - having unproductive thoughts inform you that you’re not good enough, over and over again.
As a blogger, our socially driven landscape doesn’t help, because with each day that passes you can literally watch your engagement drop as your followers walk away. After working hard to build your platforms, there’s not much room in the way of positive reinforcement, when you need to take a break.
So what can we do about this?
There is something liberating about change. Even if change means something as simple as getting a new conch piercing, it’s empowering to make a decision, follow through, and recreate life as you know it.
Everyone has that something, whether physical, mental, or social, that takes them to the next level. No matter how grand or how small, these are key moments in our lifelong development that will stand out for years to come.
What's your something?
It’s been a while since I’ve taken a moment to write about life. Since February, my time has been filled with ups and downs, like merry-go-rounds. My thoughts clouded by inescapable distractions.
University is impossibly frantic in the spring. My schedule, normally a rip current of responsibility on its own, has been completely transformed by the ripples that flow from my quickly approaching graduation date. Is there ever a right time to take a break from it all? I’m nearing the point where I’m ready to admit defeat to anyone who’s willing to listen.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a cry for help so much as it's a declaration of disbelief. I'm not ready to face tomorrow! It’s like the future is seeping into the present, and demanding attention I’m not sure I have to give. Still, now is the time to think ahead: to apply for jobs, to follow through with my commitments, and to figure out what I really want from life (for now).
It’s safe to say that together, all of these elements are a bit much to manage.
Everyone has a dream they fear won't come true until one day it becomes a reality. Here's the story of how I realized mine.
I have wanted to travel the world for a while now. Not because of the intrigue, but because of this desire to chase life and to explore the feel of different people, places, and energies. Until recently, I have been content with changing my environment, in lieu of traveling abroad. I went to boarding school across the country for a couple of years, and then when I returned to New York my family moved, so I got to experience a change of scenery. For a while, this has been enough.
New Year’s Eve has come and gone. Spirits flew high, resolutions were created, and kisses were shared. By now, a week has passed and you’re still holding on to some of the hope that accompanies the start of the year. It’s not too late to buy a gym membership, is it? Not to worry, it's never too late to make sure you have the best year yet.
There’s something about a new year that makes it magical. Although it’s cold outside and the weather is miserable, the promise of new beginnings keeps hope alive. It’s as if a New Year’s Fairy exists amongst the other legendary figures, and she makes it her mission to spread joy the night before a new year.