Gratitude List – October 2018

Life certainly comes at you quick. In retrospect, it really is a rollercoaster ride – ups and downs cycling one after another. As my recent posts have been a bit more moody and sentimental, today’s update is a gratitude list of everything that has made me happy in the past week.

For starters, I laughed my ass off in Manchester, gained about a week on my life from that trip alone. That same weekend, we threw a surprise party for my friend and I ate some of the best (& homemade) pizza I’ve ever had. An absolute angel, the guy who had that planned.

Manchester in the Morrow, Tempering Thoughts Today

As I sit in bed listening to the fictional tick of a clock that reads half-past-twelve, I consider my reality. I think about the thoughts typically encountered at this, truth-be-told, 2 am. See, it’s easy enough to invent tales that deliver a more melodic tempo through utterance, than to write the story that is most sincere.

When all is said and done, the day boils down to a montage of memorable moments: good, bad, sad, and significant. The thoughts that have stuck with me today pertain to my current sociality. Perhaps a selfish set of thoughts to keep, but the truth nevertheless.

Life in Limbo (limbo, limbo)

Living in limbo may surprise you. Weeks after existing between relationships, treading carefully through newly formed bonds, you find yourself on the edge of intimacy with a number of groups. To which do you choose to commit? Is there a way to engulf yourself in every social circle you fancy, or must you find, and decide, which suits you best?

This is the struggle of new people and places. Fresh faces, refreshing, challenge your sense of stability. What is a place to call home without friendships that bleed red to the bone? Without a map to guide you through this path of poorly cobbled stones?

Afterthought

Distance is as much a cure, as it is a curse.

Monotonous routines, turned through a tiresome system until the element of surprise has become a foreign concept. Space, a much needed respite from the mediocrity of everyday life.

Still, time away transforms into startled cries of realization and unsupported why’s. Learning through lonesome now, an unexpected feat, lack of preparation unsteadies planted feet.

Life Update – Oct. 7, 2018

No matter what language you speak, or culture you participate in, you have heard some version of the phrase: everything happens for a reason. This may be the case, but when your final reward is ten degrees distanced from today’s disappointment, it’s difficult to see this way.

A few weeks ago, I had the idea of creating a magazine. MESSY, an independent mag solely focused on spreading the truth. Much alike this blog, I had planned to discuss mental health, to write fun articles that were more a magazine style than anything else I had featured previously here; peeks into the different worlds that exist in the caverns of my mind.

Whereas I had felt that I had lost my voice writing for this blog, I had rediscovered it in the pages of that digital mag. Here’s the sitch: all of my work was inextricably erased, wiped, hours reduced to nothing.

Chasing Life: “Doing” is the Key to Growth

I haven’t shared on this blog in over two weeks, a fact which has tormented me every single day. It almost feels as if I have been gone for over a month, since the voice in the back of my mind continually reminds me that I am not getting anything done.

This isn’t true, because in that time I have packed, moved, and finished my finals, but for some reason, knowing this doesn’t help. I honestly couldn’t tell you what's more frustrating than that - having unproductive thoughts inform you that you’re not good enough, over and over again.

As a blogger, our socially driven landscape doesn’t help, because with each day that passes you can literally watch your engagement drop as your followers walk away. After working hard to build your platforms, there’s not much room in the way of positive reinforcement, when you need to take a break.

So what can we do about this?

Chasing Life: My Experience Getting A Conch Piercing

There is something liberating about change. Even if change means something as simple as getting a new conch piercing, it’s empowering to make a decision, follow through, and recreate life as you know it.

Everyone has that something, whether physical, mental, or social, that takes them to the next level. No matter how grand or how small, these are key moments in our lifelong development that will stand out for years to come.

What's your something?

Quarter Life Crises and Other Monumental Misfortunes

It’s been a while since I’ve taken a moment to write about life. Since February, my time has been filled with ups and downs, like merry-go-rounds. My thoughts clouded by inescapable distractions.

University is impossibly frantic in the spring. My schedule, normally a rip current of responsibility on its own, has been completely transformed by the ripples that flow from my quickly approaching graduation date. Is there ever a right time to take a break from it all? I’m nearing the point where I’m ready to admit defeat to anyone who’s willing to listen.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a cry for help so much as it's a declaration of disbelief. I'm not ready to face tomorrow! It’s like the future is seeping into the present, and demanding attention I’m not sure I have to give. Still, now is the time to think ahead: to apply for jobs, to follow through with my commitments, and to figure out what I really want from life (for now).

It’s safe to say that together, all of these elements are a bit much to manage.

Chasing Life: How I Decided to Graduate Early and Study Abroad

Everyone has a dream they fear won't come true until one day it becomes a reality. Here's the story of how I realized mine.

I have wanted to travel the world for a while now. Not because of the intrigue, but because of this desire to chase life and to explore the feel of different people, places, and energies. Until recently, I have been content with changing my environment, in lieu of traveling abroad. I went to boarding school across the country for a couple of years, and then when I returned to New York my family moved, so I got to experience a change of scenery. For a while, this has been enough.

Living Out Loud: How to Make 2018 Your Best Year Yet

New Year’s Eve has come and gone. Spirits flew high, resolutions were created, and kisses were shared. By now, a week has passed and you’re still holding on to some of the hope that accompanies the start of the year. It’s not too late to buy a gym membership, is it? Not to worry, it's never too late to make sure you have the best year yet.

There’s something about a new year that makes it magical. Although it’s cold outside and the weather is miserable, the promise of new beginnings keeps hope alive. It’s as if a New Year’s Fairy exists amongst the other legendary figures, and she makes it her mission to spread joy the night before a new year.

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