Distance is as much a cure, as it is a curse.
Monotonous routines, turned through a tiresome system until the element of surprise has become a foreign concept. Space, a much needed respite from the mediocrity of everyday life.
Still, time away transforms into startled cries of realization and unsupported why’s. Learning through lonesome now, an unexpected feat, lack of preparation unsteadies planted feet.
Damned to discover inalienable truths that redefine one’s self description. Threatened by the looming nature of perdurable idiosyncratic distinctions.
A self-diagnosed sesquipedalian, amongst other things. She uses extensive words to describe the breadth between her mind and the emotions she fails to think.
Distance is the revelation of sweet peculiarities that right you when you’ve slipped, returning you to a place of sentimental doting. On the brink of one, easily slipping to another. Am I she? Am I her? And who is me?
I love me, I love me not.
One letter away from
Effecting internal change
Distance is as much a curse, as it is a cure.
Post-read listen: “Sail Away With Me” – Styx
No matter what language you speak, or culture you participate in, you have heard some version of the phrase: everything happens for a reason. This may be the case, but when your final reward is ten degrees distanced from today’s disappointment, it’s difficult to see this way.
A few weeks ago, I had the idea of creating a magazine. MESSY, an independent mag solely focused on spreading the truth. Much alike this blog, I had planned to discuss mental health, to write fun articles that were more a magazine style than anything else I had featured previously here; peeks into the different worlds that exist in the caverns of my mind.
Whereas I had felt that I had lost my voice writing for this blog, I had rediscovered it in the pages of that digital mag. Here’s the sitch: all of my work was inextricably erased, wiped, hours reduced to nothing.
I know, I should have backed up my writing. I should have taken a screenshot of each page, but I didn’t, and I have to live the consequences of that. It is impossible to prepare for every potential outcome. You’re always going to face a challenge for which you were not prepared. Losing that magazine was the first time I had ever given up on something so swiftly and with such a finality that hardly anything could persuade me to bring it back.
For now, I’ll continue to blog here. I have fixed a few kinks that were screwing up the layout and general aesthetic. Previously unable to determine the cause, I admit I was a bit rash in my decision to take a break from the blog. Nevertheless, this time away has been great. I have many more stories to share, so if you fancy hearing more about my pothole of a life, continue reading.
And if you’re new here, then welcome to MESSY. Thank you for joining me as I share the most intimate fragments of my mind.