Gratitude List – October 2018

Life certainly comes at you quick. In retrospect, it really is a rollercoaster ride – ups and downs cycling one after another. As my recent posts have been a bit more moody and sentimental, today’s update is a gratitude list of everything that has made me happy in the past week.

For starters, I laughed my ass off in Manchester, gained about a week on my life from that trip alone. That same weekend, we threw a surprise party for a friend and I ate some of the best (& homemade) pizza I’ve ever had.

Manchester in the Morrow, Tempering Thoughts Today

As I sit in bed listening to the fictional tick of a clock that reads half-past-twelve, I consider my reality. I think about the thoughts typically encountered at this, truth-be-told, 2 am. See, it’s easy enough to invent tales that deliver a more melodic tempo through utterance, than to write the story that is most sincere.

When all is said and done, the day boils down to a montage of memorable moments: good, bad, sad, and significant. The thoughts that have stuck with me today pertain to my current sociality. Perhaps a selfish set of thoughts to keep, but the truth nevertheless.

Life in Limbo (limbo, limbo)

Living in limbo may surprise you. Weeks after existing between relationships, treading carefully through newly formed bonds, you find yourself on the edge of intimacy with a number of groups. To which do you choose to commit? Is there a way to engulf yourself in every social circle you fancy, or must you find, and decide, which suits you best?

This is the struggle of new people and places. Fresh faces, refreshing, challenge your sense of stability. What is a place to call home without friendships that bleed red to the bone? Without a map to guide you through this path of poorly cobbled stones?

Afterthought

Distance is as much a cure, as it is a curse.

Monotonous routines, turned through a tiresome system until the element of surprise has become a foreign concept. Space, a much needed respite from the mediocrity of everyday life.

Still, time away transforms into startled cries of realization and unsupported why’s. Learning through lonesome now, an unexpected feat, lack of preparation unsteadies planted feet.

Life Update – Oct. 7, 2018

No matter what language you speak, or culture you participate in, you have heard some version of the phrase: everything happens for a reason. This may be the case, but when your final reward is ten degrees distanced from today’s disappointment, it’s difficult to see this way.

A few weeks ago, I had the idea of creating a magazine. MESSY, an independent mag solely focused on spreading the truth. Much alike this blog, I had planned to discuss mental health, to write fun articles that were more a magazine style than anything else I had featured previously here; peeks into the different worlds that exist in the caverns of my mind.

Whereas I had felt that I had lost my voice writing for this blog, I had rediscovered it in the pages of that digital mag. Here’s the sitch: all of my work was inextricably erased, wiped, hours reduced to nothing.

Folk Off: Folk Music to Make You Feel Something

I can’t believe I created an entire playlist geared towards folk music, without including Ezra Bell. Not sure I was okay in that moment, but to make up for it, I’ve made an incredibly long mix of new folky tunes for you guys.

Second try’s the charm, right? This playlist is filled with folk songs that are more personal to me, whether they’re songs I listen to pretty often or bands that make me feel.

a lady in waiting

A lady in waiting of future change

existing in the shadow

of some future living proof

I am struggling to see

the joy in embracing ephemeralities

Is it wrong to wish

that the point on which

time touches this temporal plane,

would somehow get its spatial rifts confused?

We Are All Targets: The Detrimental Effects of Police Brutality

Exploring Police Brutality
Attribution: Viktor Dukov

Police Brutality is Crime

Police brutality is neither a new, nor an isolated affair. It will not be abated without a united effort for it to be renounced. Who could have known that an unfit president would result in such widespread social unrest? I’ll tell you who knew - every threatened minority.

The word threatened is subjective in a sense, because I do know minorities who claimed to vote for Trump. It all comes down to a person’s sense of security and their regard, or lack thereof, for others. Contempt is selfish, and ignorance is an excuse. You are no different, as long as you look the same.

Folky Friends: A Pacifying Playlist

folky music - folky tunes
Attribution: Taneli Lahtinen

Folk songs are the cure to a forsaken soul. How do you get over any inconvenience? Tune the world out, and tune in to a bone chilling list of folky numbers. Here’s a list of beauty, real and true. I highly recommend giving Shakey Graves & Ed Masuga a listen.

My Life, a Collage of Near Death Experiences

written during the Summer of 2017

I keep getting almost hit by cars. I feel like I should lead with that.


In the past, I had a sort of anxiety about crossing the street (which I once wrote a fair amount about, but failed to publish). However, a few weeks ago, I almost got hit by a car and since then that fear has sort of dissolved.

How does fear materialize? Does it ever “de”materialize?

Messy Mania: July 13, 2018

messy mania july 13
Attribution: Eric Han

The word of the week is plethora, meaning an excessive amount or number. When I first learned this word, I used it ALL the time. Any chance I could get in an academic paper, I took. That was almost a decade ago, and now I’m here to share the very same word that started my obsession with particularizing locution.

What’s New On The Messy Life? July Updates

Thursday Thoughts: Working full time really wipes you out. It’s a wonder college students can juggle school, internships, jobs, and extracurricular activities. There’s something about doing the same task for hours on end, that is thoroughly exhausting.


21 Things That Made Life Worth Living in June

This month, I’m starting a new series that I am very excited about beginning. Life can be a real pain, and though there are struggles, there are also little moments that remind us life can be worth living. I want to start a collection of sorts - a monthly journal of moments, people, and things that made life worth living for me.

June was a hard month for me, for whatever reason, and I can definitely say that these small pieces of time made a world of difference.

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